According to a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, nearly a quarter of U.S adults are part of the “sandwiched generation caregivers” — adults who are caring for an aging parent while also caring for a child under 18 or supporting an adult child financially.
These figures include more than half (54%) of Americans in their 40s, over a third (36%) of Americans in their 50s, and over a quarter (27%) of Americans in their 30s. We know that these figures are more than just numbers. For a significant portion of our population, this is documentation of the financial, emotional, mental, physical, and psychological demands that they face every day.
If you are a sandwiched generation caregiver balancing the needs of an aging parent and raising children, know that you are not alone in the challenges you face. In this article, as part three of our ongoing sandwiched generation series, we’ll explore the essential practice of self-care, sharing accessible tips and resources to support you as you care for those you love.
Quick Navigation
- Reframing self-care: It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
- Accessible self-care goals: Strategies caregivers can use today.
- Planning for the future: When to explore additional help.
Why Self-Care Matters
Caregivers as a whole are vulnerable to burnout, which can have serious health consequences and major impacts on your relationships. The unique combination of stressors and the intensity of the challenges faced by sandwiched caregivers further amplifies this risk. A 2024 study by Carewell found that nearly 1 in 5 sandwiched caregivers report feeling constantly stressed, with as many as 70% balancing full-time jobs with their caregiving duties and 71% struggling financially due to caregiving responsibilities.
- “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Sandwiched generation caregivers face intense demands on their time and energy. If you are not caring for yourself, too, you may reach a point where you are no longer able to show up for the people who rely on you. Moments, however few and far between they may be, where you intentionally replenish your strength and take care of your own well-being, are essential.
- Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury. With your time stretched impossibly thin as it is, it can feel impossible to consider stealing moments for yourself. But self-care for a sandwiched-generation caregiver is not a luxury. It is a necessity. It’s important to kindly and gently reframe this for yourself and others, if needed. Remember that self-care is a practice, one that can restore and empower the caregiver.
- Start small. Burnout is difficult and costly to recover from, making prevention the best medicine you can take. Start small. And don’t beat yourself up if small is where you stay. We do not all have the same 24 hours, and the more important part is making your self-care strategies work for you.
Taking care of yourself on top of taking care of everything and everyone else shouldn’t feel like another chore to add to a to-do list. Self-care is often promoted on our social media feeds as a “bubblebath and travel” lifestyle we can buy into, which is unrealistic and alienating for those of us living paycheck to paycheck with limited time to ourselves.
Instead, true self-care is about prioritizing our physical and mental health so that we are able to sustain ourselves, our relationships, and our responsibilities. We’ve put together a brief list of accessible goals and strategies that you can draw inspiration from to get you started.
1. Establish a nutritious diet.
As a sandwiched caregiver, you likely already spend a significant amount of time planning nutritious meals for your parents and children. Maintaining a balanced diet for yourself goes a long way toward warding off disease, boosting your energy, and keeping you feeling more refreshed. Nutrient-dense foods, especially fresh fruit and vegetables, with limited processing, can be more expensive and harder to find for many people, but are the best choice if you do have access to them.
2. Protect your sleep schedule.
The quality and quantity of your sleep affects everything from your reaction times to your immune system. There’s a reason that the recommended amount of sleep per night for adults is nearly a third of our day (7 hours or more). In our fast-paced world, many of us sacrifice our sleep for more pressing responsibilities, often to our own detriment. If you can, do your best to create a good sleep routine and protect your rest as much as possible. Remember, even short naps can help your body and mind recharge.
3. Move your body.
Just like getting enough sleep, exercise helps keep our internal systems functioning to the best of their ability. The CDC recommends 150 hours of moderate physical activity per week, however, even 10-20 minutes per day of walking or light movement can help lower your cortisol levels, clear your mind, and improve your overall health.
4. Practice mindfulness and healthy coping strategies.
Emotional regulation and centering techniques — such as mindfulness, reflection, deep breathing, meditation, journaling, talking with someone, and prayer — can help you navigate the complex emotions you may feel and the inevitable frustrations you experience. Find an app, podcast, video, or brief routine you can connect with, and try practicing it consistently.
5. Set necessary boundaries.
It’s okay to say no. When we have a host of responsibilities on our plate, it can feel like the word “no” isn’t an option. We get trapped in the thinking of “if I won’t do it, no one will.” However, no one can do everything and that does include you. Think about which boundaries would be the most beneficial for you and work toward implementing them. Be realistic about your limitations and lean on the resources that are available to you.
6. Delegate and outsource to others.
You don’t have to shoulder everything by yourself. Delegate age-appropriate tasks to your children. Ask siblings or other family members to help with caregiving tasks and seek support with groceries and similar household needs from friends or neighbors. Consider professional support from at-home care services, senior daycares, or senior living communities.
7. Focus on progress, not perfection.
Often, we can get caught up in needing to be perfect or needing our environment to be perfect, especially if we are trying to form new habits. Perfectionism adds additional stress on top of the stress you are already dealing with. Don’t focus on trying to add these self-care strategies into your life all at once or about keeping up with them perfectly. Instead, celebrate your small caregiving wins and pay closer attention to long-term, sustainable changes.
Sometimes self-care goes beyond what we can do for ourselves. It’s important to stay connected to your community and explore what support service options exist. Caregiving is challenging and you are far from the only person who can relate to the difficulties of being a sandwiched caregiver. Seek out local or online support groups, mental health resources, and other offerings that can provide you an extra boost.
Some resources and resource lists available include:
- AARP
- ADAA
- Caregiver Action Network
- Care Out Loud
- Easterseals
- Family Caregiver Alliance
- Generations United
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance for Caregiving
Tailored Support for Sandwiched Caregivers
At Stoney Brook, we understand the pressures of caregiving. Through the years, we’ve partnered with countless families like yours who are actively managing the demands of raising children while ensuring the best care for their aging parents.
We’re happy to provide a personalized assessment of your loved one’s care needs, offer guidance on coordinating care, and remind you that you are doing a fantastic job!
Come experience the warm, welcoming environment at our Stoney Brook senior living communities and see for yourself how our relationship-centered assisted living and memory care options are designed to help residents—and their families—truly thrive.
Contact us today to schedule a visit to any of our three Central Texas locations, or to talk through your options. Or follow our blog for additional resources to support you in your caregiving journey.