The Gift of Connection: Why Nurturing Relationships Matters as We Age
Think about the last time you spoke with your best friend. Was it today? A few days ago? A year ago? Some of us may be reading this thinking, “I don’t even have a best friend.” And that’s okay! If you are reading this article, you’re probably already thinking about how you can make meaningful connections with other people — which is a great first step on the path to actually creating and maintaining these connections.
So, how do you make connections, and why does it matter? While researchers are still discovering the full picture of how much our social connections, or lack thereof, have an impact on our physical, mental, and emotional health, one thing is clear: there definitely appears to be a strong correlation. Studies have repeatedly found connections between social isolation or loneliness and negative health outcomes.
While anyone can be at risk of social isolation and loneliness, seniors are particularly vulnerable. In early and middle adulthood, many people have tight-knit family groups, make connections at work, and have few challenges maintaining friendships both inside and outside their neighborhood. However, as we age, we tend to lose these connections to distance, drifting apart, or death. Health issues, mobility issues, and transportation issues can further exacerbate this problem.
Fortunately, new connections can be made at any age and it’s almost never too late to repair and strengthen old connections. Read on to learn more about the health risks associated with loneliness, how seniors can form new connections, and how you can maintain fulfilling relationships into your golden years.
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- The impacts of loneliness on your health
- How seniors can form new social connections
- What can you do to maintain fulfilling relationships
Social Isolation, Loneliness, and Senior Health
Social isolation refers to physical separation from other people, while loneliness is an emotional separation from other people. While you can experience one without the other, seniors are typically at an increased risk for both, and both can have a negative impact on your health. What impact can they have? A more extensive one than you might think.
Emotional pain can activate the same stress responses in the body as physical pain, so chronic emotional stressors — such as prolonged or profound loneliness — can wreak havoc on your system over time. You can experience chronic inflammation that can damage your tissues and immune system, making you more vulnerable to diseases.
Studies have found that people who are socially isolated or lonely tend to have longer hospital stays, are more likely to be admitted to the emergency room, and could even be more likely to die earlier than people with strong social connections. Loneliness and social isolation can also increase the risk of certain conditions, including:
- High blood pressure and heart disease
- Anxiety and depression
- Cognitive decline and dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease
Social isolation and loneliness can be bad for your health in other ways, too. If you are lonely or socially isolated, you may have a harder time caring for yourself in general. People, especially seniors, who experience significant connection deficiencies may have trouble sleeping, issues with daily tasks (such as paying bills, taking medicines, and cooking), and fall into harmful coping mechanisms. This can in turn make it more challenging to make and maintain connections, creating a vicious cycle.
How Can Seniors Form New Connections?
Learning about all the potential impacts your loneliness could have on your well-being can be frightening and upsetting. Fortunately, however, this problem can be a very easy one to fix, especially if you approach it with an open mind and the right attitude. Our suggestions can be distilled into three steps:
- Try something new.
- Try something old.
- Try something bold.
While these steps don’t necessarily have to be in this order, it’s a great idea to start with something new first. After all, if you are yearning for connection, it’s likely that something in your current situation needs to change. It’s easy for us to get stuck in set patterns as our old habits strengthen and our daily routine becomes mundane. This can be especially true once we reach older adulthood.
Trying something new can be as simple as striking up a conversation with a friendly neighbor that you wouldn’t normally chat with. If you’re living in a senior living community, check out their monthly activities calendar for inspiration. Most communities offer no shortage of clubs, hobby groups, special events, and outings, all of which can offer an exciting opportunity to shake things up in your life and introduce you to people that you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
If you feel content with your regular routine but still want to push yourself to meet new people, try something old. Consider the hobbies and interests that you normally enjoy and branch out from there. For example, if you cherish your time spent caring for a plant on your windowsill, find out whether there is a gardening club or local community garden that you can join.
Taking small steps to put yourself in situations that expose you to unfamiliar faces while still sticking to what you know and love can be incredibly rewarding, especially if you tend to be on the more shy or introverted side.
If these options don’t appeal to you, try our third step: Try something bold. This step is similar to trying something new but takes things a bit further. Do you have a bucket list item that you’ve always wanted to do but was always just a bit too far outside your comfort zone? Now is the time to check that item off your list (safely, of course).
These exhilarating adventures, from skydiving to learning a language, not only give you a great story to tell and great memories to treasure but are also fantastic opportunities to bond over a shared experience with a stranger — or, as we’d like to call them, a “friend you haven’t met yet.”
Turning Fulfilling Connections Into Long-Lasting Relationships
At any age, that initial connection we make with a new acquaintance will fizzle out if there is no intentional and ongoing effort to keep it going. In some cases, maybe you’ll discover as you get to know the person that you’re actually quite content with letting this connection fade. Not everyone is the right fit for your inner circle and that’s perfectly okay! However, for the friendships that you want to strengthen and both the old and new connections that you want to keep, some effort is required in order to maintain these relationships.
One of the primary building blocks of a long-lasting relationship is consistency. Whether you are building a new relationship or strengthening an old one, set aside space in your schedule for regularly planned time together. Many people find that semi-daily chats, weekly meet-ups, or monthly visits work well for them. The type and frequency of the gatherings depends on what works best for you and your friends. The most important thing is that you make the conscious effort to spend time together.
Outside of our immediate community, the aging process can make it hard to meet up with our loved ones. Seniors with hearing, vision, or mobility loss — or who have lost the ability to drive — can become homebound, especially when there is limited support or are limited transportation options available.
Fortunately, there are solutions for this, too. Many senior living communities offer transportation services for their residents and openly encourage visitors. For seniors who haven’t moved into senior living, there are numerous transportation services available through state, nonprofit, and for-profit programs. Whether you live in your own home, have moved in with family, have moved into senior living, or have another living situation, using technology to stay in touch with people is another great solution, especially in cases where there is a large physical distance between you and your friends.
Stoney Brook designed its relationship-centered, Central Texas assisted living communities and memory care communities to ensure residents thrive. In such a setting, you will interact often and enjoy ample, stimulating activities to age well – and savor each day to its fullest.
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